I always remember the story of my grandmother Genadia. I was told that she was fired from her government job when the male authorities learned that she was expecting a baby (my mother) without getting married. That was in 1927. She held a job as an elementary teacher in one of those little towns far away from Llamellin. Probably a place nobody wanted to go, especially the “super macho men” for whom it was OK to have children without marrying their girlfriends or taking any responsibility.
In those days, women had no rights or voice. They couldn’t vote and few were schooled (Gendadia was actually one of the few exceptions; my other beautiful grandmother, Ines, was illiterate). What’s more, women weren’t conscious of their situation; they accepted that situation as normal.
For a “lady” to become pregnant without getting married was not only a disgrace to the family and the town, it invited all kinds of punishments, starting from the “male God,” to the male authorities and male family members. The authorities didn’t care whether she was going to get economic support from the father of the expected child. In most cases there was not even a “legal” recognition of the child. The Catholic Church supported these practices, of course, because in those times the only legal marriage was the “religious” one.
My grandmother was fired not only from her job but from her life as well. Her crime was to fall in love with the wrong guy and to become a single mother. “Punishment” imposed by the “male lawmakers” left her without income.
The guilt and pressure women endured in those times is beyond my understanding. My poor grandmother, instead of hating the male authorities or religious organizations responsible for the “macho mentality,” became more religious and obediently confined herself to imprisonment for life. Society cut her freedom, her beauty and her heart. I never saw her going out, nor attend any social event in town except church.
I imagine my grandmother as the subject of the movie “The Scarlet Letter.” Like her, there were - and still are – many other women in town who had endured the hardship of rules imposed by the “machos” that put all the responsibility and blame on women who followed their own will. But that was in 1927, when my mother was born. My grandmother remained single and in the “jail” of her house, her garden, and her endless knitting up to her death.
Yet here in 2005 in Port Chester, NY - a growing Peruvian community just 45 minutes from New York City - neither time nor place seems to have changed the attitudes of some people. I wasn’t fired like my grandmother, nor did I have a baby without getting married. But I was singled out and harassed in my own business because, according to the “macho thinking,” I was “smiling and talking in a flirtatious way” to married men, disturbing the peaceful lives of these poor male victims (who by the way, have the right to smile and flirt even though they are married.) But I was also committing the sin to behave as “equal” as men; I forgot that in the 1920’s women were not supposed to make mistakes because all the decisions were made by men. Therefore men's mistakes were taken as normal.
Unlike my grand-mother who was fired, I decided to stand up before shutting “my doors” to a “macho town” that cannot stand independent women who speak
up and shine. I am outraged to still find people (male and female) who think the same way as Llamellinos did in the 1920s. It’s sad to see that some immigrants in Peruvian communities in the USA make their lives a simple routine, probably watching only soap -operas, “el show de laura,” going to malls, or gossiping. I understand - work might be hard, depression and loneliness may take over. I would like to think they might not have the time to see, with wide open eyes, a beautiful life exists beyond the “macho” world.
I smile now, thinking that in 2005 in New York, I could be a very happy single mother if I wanted to. And how proud my female ancestor, including
the divinity of Pachamama, would be, knowing that at this time women not only have choices in their lives but have the tools to defend themselves, and we can laugh in the face of any man who tries to shut us down.
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